Dear “Nice” Guys,

Maybe if you didn’t rupture a spleen every time a chick didn’t sleep with you because you were nice to her, you’d get laid. Maybe if you didn’t lay on massive guilt trips because of how hard you work to keep her happy, she wouldn’t see your gleaming desperation. Maybe she’d actually BE happy if you weren’t constantly giving her the impression that she’s just using you for your sympathy. You know, if you came to her with a problem, she’d sit there and listen. And if she didn’t, she’s clearly a moron and you’re just as dumb for wasting your time.

Love is supposed to go both ways. Give and take. And you’re not supposed to be nice to people to get something out of it. You be nice to people because YOU WANT TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE. You being the comfort buddy for sex is just as bad as a sexy dick head saying, “Baby, let’s bone”. At least the guys who are forward and rude don’t come with severe psychological and emotional damage. They just throw us into corners with guys who want to take emotional advantage of us.

Stop inviting me to your pity party. Man up, be honest, and move on if it doesn’t work. You only live once. Stop crying and dwelling on mundane crap.

Lots of love,

Lover of Legit Nice Guys

P.S. Why the frick did you put females in quotes? And you left out some question marks in there. Some girls dig dudes with proper grammar.